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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954647">Priceless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebluesthour/pseuds/thebluesthour'>thebluesthour</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yeonbin Oneshots For the Soul [44]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BTS makes a cameo, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Idol Choi Yeonjun, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Post-Break Up, Reunions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:47:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,223</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebluesthour/pseuds/thebluesthour</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Soobin had to quit being a trainee to take care of his sick mom, he and Yeonjun agreed it would be better to mutually break up and cut off all communication. A couple years later, Soobin is a successful art connoisseur dealing with the tragedies of life, and Yeonjun is a successful member of the four-member group Tomorrow by Together. After an intervention from fate, the two are reunited.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Yeonbin Oneshots For the Soul [44]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>221</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have had this idea simmering in my head for a while so here it is! I didn't realise how long it was until I was finished LOL. I hope you enjoy! </p><p>Not edited.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The funeral was a week ago, but it felt like a lifetime ago to Soobin. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the loss or because he was back in the city he had left three years ago and he didn’t know what to do with himself. It felt surreal, being back in Seoul, seeing all of the familiar buildings and streets that he used to frequent so often back then.</p><p>            He still wasn’t sure if he had made the right decision, coming back <em>here</em>, but he knew he couldn’t stay in Gyeonggi-do for a second longer after…after it. So he sucked it up and put a down payment on an apartment and told his clients that he was moving and that they could continue their work remotely if they wanted. As a freelance fine art connoisseur, he didn’t necessarily have to physically be with his clients to give them advice on pieces they wanted to purchase. Not to mention, his clientele was only going to grow in Seoul, he already had an inbox full of inquiries from some very prestigious people.</p><p>            He was lucky to have his work, it was a necessary distraction, and being able to focus on it while in Seoul would be invaluable. Because as soon as he walked into his apartment and looked out at the skyline, his heart ached with an old but familiar pain. The memories came rushing back, of late night adventures to the convenience store, dance practices that made Soobin’s feet go numb, and sleepovers with his four best friends.</p><p>            He felt tears prick at his eyes at the thought of his old friends. They were all older now, and so successful, and Soobin was so proud of them, but it still hurt. It hurt a lot, especially now, and he wasn’t angry or jealous at them, he was angry at the world. He had been angry at the world for a long time. He missed them, had missed him them since the day he had left, and he had tried to keep up with them in the news but taking care of his mom became his full-time job, alongside his actual job, and so he just couldn’t keep up.</p><p>            He felt guilty, but he knew they understood. They understood why he had to quit being a trainee and leave Seoul. They understood why he couldn’t promise to keep in touch, so their goodbyes were genuine goodbyes. He hoped they understood.</p><p>            As he stood in his empty apartment and looked out, his eyes immediately found the BigHit Entertainment building. His heart skipped as he wondered if Yeonjun was inside it, if he was maybe recording or learning a dance or cooking for his dongsaengs. What would he think, if he knew Soobin was mere miles away now? Would he try and see him? Would they run into each other on the streets and lock eyes and run into each other’s arms and never let go?</p><p>            Soobin shook his head at that thought, turning away and going to unpack some of his boxes. That’s the last thing he needed to think about, even though he knew the thoughts would crop up when he moved back. He did his best to unpack quickly and efficiently, not allowing himself to second-guess his decision. He was a twenty-one-year-old adult, if he couldn’t handle living in a city of millions that also contained his ex-boyfriend, then he needed to reevaluate himself. But he could handle it. He had his work, he had his record player, and he was planning on going to his old favourite takeout place later. He was going to be fine.</p><p> </p><p>            The first few weeks were hard, because as Soobin started traveling around Seoul he saw all of the banners for ‘Tomorrow x Together’, the kpop group from BigHit that had a comeback soon. When he saw the first poster on the train, he did a double-take. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid the advertisements of various kpop groups in the capitol of South Korea, but he didn’t expect to be assaulted by a poster of his ex and former friends so quickly.</p><p>            As he stared at it, he acknowledged that they all looked really <em>good</em>. Sure, part of it was the airbrushing, but Soobin used to have a close up look every day for two years, he knew that there wasn’t much difference between print and the real thing. Hueningkai looked so grown up but still youthful, his hair the same natural colour it was when Soobin left. Beomgyu had subtle purple highlights in his fluffy hair, and his face was relatively the same, but there was a hint of maturity in his features that Soobin hadn’t seen before. Taehyun, surprisingly, had bleached blonde hair which made Soobin’s eyes widen, and his features had only sharpened over the three years.</p><p>            And Yeonjun, well, he looked ethereal. His hair was pink with blonde and blue highlights like cotton candy, and he looked so much <em>older</em>. Soobin swallowed roughly as he took in the image of the boy he used to love. It was just a frozen capture of his face, but Soobin hadn’t seen a picture of him that clear in months. He hadn’t seen photos of any of them, he had been so consumed with his mom. They all looked amazing, experienced and talented and so successful it made Soobin so happy to have known them. He hoped they were happy and excited, and he would have to check out their music when he got home. He had listened to their debut song when it came out, but it was so painful he couldn’t bring himself to listen to anything after that.</p><p>            More time had passed though, and he thought maybe he would be okay if he tried listening again. Or maybe he wouldn’t be. Maybe it would just remind him of everything he lost and how it didn’t even matter, because his mom was still dead and Soobin was still completely alone. He teared up then and looked away from the poster, gazing out his dirtied window instead. He needed to pull himself together before he lost his mind, too.</p><p>            He kept his eyes on his feet as he shuffled off of his train and swiped his card to exit the station. He pulled out his phone to check the directions, even though he had a vague idea of where to go. He was meeting his first new client in the Soho district of Seoul, with its upscale cafes and designer clothing stores. Soobin felt a bit out-of-place even though he knew he blended in perfectly. He had mastered the art of dressing the part, and art connoisseurs had a very particular style. He was in his own designer clothes (they were a “sorry your mom died and you’re all alone now” gift from one of his very wealthy clients back home), which included black slacks and an Egyptian cotton button-up. A Gucci belt cinched his waist and he wore a long black Chanel coat that stopped at his calves. His shoes cost more than he cared to admit and he felt so ridiculous but he knew that people responded to a well-dressed man.</p><p>            He probably shouldn’t have worn such expensive clothes on public transportation, but he didn’t sit down and it wasn’t crowded. He just didn’t see the point in paying for a cab when the trains were so much cheaper. He was aware of the irony, but didn’t care.</p><p>            He tucked his phone into his coat pocket and swept up the streets, six feet of troubled boy hiding behind a mask of professionalism. He got the building and walked into the big lobby. Chandeliers hung from the ceilings and the floor was marble and good lord Soobin would never understand the rich. Even if he was well on his way to becoming part of the rich, he would never desire places like this. He was a simple person, preferring human interaction to material items. Once again, the irony was not missed on him. He pulled out his correspondence with his client, who had only left his initials ‘K.N.’ and a very messy signature that Soobin couldn’t decipher.</p><p>            He approached the security guard, holding out the correspondence and his photo ID. He introduced himself and his purpose, and after the security guard (who apparently was expecting Soobin already because Soobin’s client had been very excited about their meeting) cleared him, he was sent up on the elevator. Soobin exited into a large hallway, walking along until he found the correct apartment number. If he thought his building was nice, he was sorely mistaken. He started to become a little nervous as he got closer, the richer the client was the pickier and usually more knowledgeable about art they were. Soobin was good, he knew that, but he was young. He just hoped this person wasn’t a jerk.</p><p>            He knocked once, put on his mask of professionality, and smiled as soon as the door opened. Only his smile faltered as he realised who his client was. Suddenly, he felt like a complete idiot for not connecting the dots sooner. ‘K.N’ stood for Kim Namjoon, aka the leader of the biggest and arguably best music group in the world. Soobin gulped and paled just a little. He had of course caught glimpse of the members of BTS when he was a trainee, but he had never gotten further than that. They had never met him, because he left before TXT was formed, so there wasn’t that big of a chance that Namjoon was going to know who he was even by name.</p><p>            Namjoon smiled brightly as Soobin bowed low. “Choi Soobin?” he asked. Soobin smiled brightly, nodding and bowing again. “Hello, Namjoon-ssi, it’s very nice to meet you,” he replied politely. Namjoon smiled more as he let Soobin in, and Soobin followed him into his living room. The apartment was spacious but modest, with a lot of blank walls. Namjoon clasped his hands together as he turned to look at Soobin. “Shall we discuss art, then?” he asked. Soobin chuckled, liking Namjoon already. He nodded, pulling his iPad out of his bag and thanking Namjoon as he sat down across from him to talk.</p><p> </p><p>            A week later, Soobin had four million won worth of modern art pieces waiting to be delivered to Kim Namjoon. They were classy with soft splashes of colour and from an artist that Soobin had worked with many times. He had sold so many of his pieces before that he was glad when Namjoon himself inquired about him. The sell went through without a hitch, Soobin got a nice commission plus an extremely generous tip from Namjoon, and now all he had to do was oversee the transport and delivery of the priceless pieces.</p><p>            As he was about tell the moving company Namjoon’s residential address, Namjoon sent him a text telling him not to. He was out of town for work (BTS was also working on a comeback) and needed Soobin to drop the pieces off at a new location. And when Soobin saw the address he about passed out.</p><p>            Namjoon wanted him to personally deliver the art to the BigHit headquarters building. The building where Soobin had spent the happiest two years of his life only to be forced to leave because his mom got diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. The building where he had his first kiss, his first sexual experience, where he fell in love for the first time. That building held so many memories they threatened to overwhelm Soobin, but they couldn’t. He had a job to do, and Namjoon trusted him. He probably wouldn’t even see anybody, for all he knew his old friends weren’t in the country either. That would be the best-case scenario, because Soobin really didn’t know what he’d do if he ran into any of them.</p><p>            He texted back an affirmative and blew his cheeks out as he got dressed. He opted for a Gucci sweater and some denim jeans, since the weather was a bit warmer and he didn’t need the coat. He dusted some makeup over his face, fluffed his hair, and grabbed his bag. The moving truck was waiting for him, and they would go by the artists’ studio first, and then to BigHit. Namjoon had sent him the necessary paperwork to be allowed in, and apparently they were expecting him.</p><p>            It made his insides twist in embarrassment, because he was sure at least someone on the staff recognised his name and would probably recognise him. It was wishful thinking to expect that they had replaced their entire staff in two years. He exhaled slowly, and willed himself to ignore his feelings. He was at work, after all.</p><p>            When they arrived at BigHit, Soobin jumped out of the cab of the truck and instructed the movers to wait while he went inside to get them clearance. He didn’t dawdle, ignoring the painful stab in his heart at the familiarity of the lobby as he went straight to the front desk. “Hi, I’m Choi Soobin, I’m here to drop off some art pieces for Kim Namjoon,” he introduced. The secretary’s eyes widened a bit and Soobin internally sighed, but she didn’t say anything as she sent him through the security check quickly and gave him a visitor’s lanyard. It was an interesting thing, how he used to call this building home and now he wasn’t even allowed inside without being checked in.</p><p>            He bowed to the secretary, before rushing out and starting the moving process. The movers could only help him up to the lobby, and after that it was just Soobin (he suspected that the secretary did know him and that’s why a staff member wasn’t accompanying him up). It was okay though, the pieces weren’t heavy and they were more than secured, so he thanked the movers before they left and he went through to the elevators. He was alone (besides all the cameras), and he took a deep breath as the elevator doors dinged open. He felt a lump form in his throat as he pressed the button for the third floor automatically. He didn’t even have to think about it. How easy it would be for him to fall back into this life. Except it wasn’t his life anymore.</p><p>            He held onto the cart tightly as the elevator came to a stop, careful not to jostle any of the frames. When the doors slid open he got off cautiously, looking around him. The hallways were empty and it was quiet, which was a good sign. If his old friends had retained any of the qualities Soobin remembered, he would for sure heard them had they been in the lounge. Comforting himself with that fact, he pushed the cart down the hall, stopping in front of the door to the lounge. He braced himself, knowing a torrent of memories were about to attack him, and he opened the door, propping it open.</p><p>            The room looked exactly the same as it was when he left, save for an interesting framed photo of Park Jimin on the far wall, and of course the new album art had been added to the collection. But the blue couch was there, and the coffee table, and the piles of ramen in the corner of the countertops. The shelves were still empty, and Soobin took a few deep breaths as he pulled the cart inside and navigated it towards the corner of the room. Once it was in place, he locked the wheels so it wouldn’t move, and then went to check the temperature of the room to make sure it wasn’t too hot or too cold.</p><p>            As he lifted the screen covering the thermostat he had to close his eyes for a minute because even the <em>smell </em>of the room was making him feel so much. It made him think of their movie nights, of their video game tournaments, of sneaking in for snacks late at night after practice. He and Yeonjun had had their first kiss in this very room, just a few feet from where Soobin stood now. It was wild, just how much had changed, and Soobin pushed back tears as he adjusted the temperature.</p><p>            At that moment, however, the door to the lounge opened and Soobin jumped, paling as he his heart fell into his stomach. He looked over, and his throat closed up as he saw Hueningkai. The boy was listening to music and didn’t see Soobin at first, and Soobin didn’t know what to do. He only had seconds before Kai lifted his head and saw him though, so there wasn’t much he could do anyway. The only thing Soobin was able to register was that the kid was <em>tall</em>, almost as tall as him.</p><p>            And then Kai looked up and locked eyes with Soobin and Soobin stood there awkwardly and neither of them said anything for what felt like an eternity. Soobin couldn’t even tell what Kai was thinking because his face was frozen and his jaw was dropped and Soobin could hear the music coming through his airpods.</p><p>            But suddenly Kai crashed into him, wrapping his arms around him in a suffocating hug and he was screaming in his ear. “Soobin-hyung? Is it you? Is it really you?!” he shrieked, squeezing Soobin so tightly the older almost fell over. He gasped at the contact, before a feeling of extreme happiness washed over him and he hugged back. He wasn’t exactly expecting himself to react that way, but he was glad he didn’t feel awkward or sad. At least he didn’t yet. He was sure it would hit soon. But for now, he hugged Kai back and laughed a little, nodding. “It’s m-me,” he replied. “Jesus, you’re so tall now.” Kai giggled in his ear, before pulling away and breathing fast, eyes wide.</p><p>            He looked over Soobin and Soobin smiled, unsure of what to do. “What are you doing here? Does anyone else know you’re here?” he asked in a rush. Soobin’s eyes widened at the terrifying idea of Kai going and getting the others. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Ready to face them and see how happy they were and how much he had missed out on and how his life was so dreadful in comparison. Not to make it all about him, of course. That’s why he wasn’t ready. He couldn’t properly congratulate and be proud of them to their faces yet when he hadn’t even processed his mother’s death.</p><p>            “No, they don’t know I’m here,” he shook his head. “Namjoon-ssi hired me to procure some art for him, and I’m just dropping it off.” Kai’s eyes grew as big as orbs as he broke into another smile and clapped his hands together. “Oh, that’s so great, hyung! Are you an artist now?” he asked. Soobin couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s enthusiasm, and even though he looked and sounded older, he was the same Hyuka that Soobin remembered. And wow, he had missed him a lot more than he realised. “Kind of,” he explained. “I help rich people buy expensive art.” The deprecating explanation was apparently very cool to Kai who gasped and clapped his hands again.</p><p>            Soobin smiled, though a bit painfully this time, because he knew he needed to leave. The part of him that wanted to stay and possibly see the others was getting stronger and he needed to go before it won out. “It was so good to see you, Hyuka,” he said quietly. Kai’s face fell a bit, and he reached forward to grab Soobin’s wrist. “No, don’t go, please,” he pleaded, eyes shining. “It’s been so long, we’ve all missed you so much.” And his tone was so genuine it made Soobin want to cry. He always hoped they missed him as much as he missed them, but he never allowed himself to truly believe it, because it felt like such a selfish thing to wish for.</p><p>            But Kai only confirmed it, and now he really didn’t know what to do. Kai pulled him closer, tugging on his hand. “If it’s Yeonjun-hyung you’re worried about,” he started to say, which made Soobin pale and look away. “He misses you too, he mentions you a lot and wonders how you’re doing and-,” Soobin couldn’t do this. He couldn’t hear Kai talk about how Yeonjun still thought about him. He couldn’t do it because it made his stomach clench and tears well up in his eyes and his breath come in shorter gasps.</p><p>            He shook his head as he pulled his hand away. “I m-miss you guys, too, so much,” he whispered. He hastily wiped his eyes, not caring that he was getting tears on his Gucci sweater. Kai looked at him sadly, and Soobin did his best to comfort him with a weak smile. “I have to go, now,” he said. Kai’s eyes widened as Soobin grabbed his bag and moved around him, heading for the door. But before he could make his escape, Kai spoke, and his voice was so small and quiet it made Soobin stop.</p><p>            “How is your mother, hyung?” he asked. Soobin froze, face crumpling at the thought of his mom, and he looked down. He didn’t know if he should lie and say she was okay, or if he should be truthful. But when he turned around and looked at Kai, he knew he couldn’t lie. “She, um,” he began, voice catching. He saw Kai’s face fall even more as he connected the dots himself. “She died,” Soobin finished anyway, a few more tears dripping down his cheeks. Kai teared up too, before moving forward and taking Soobin’s hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “We’re still your family, hyung,” he whispered. “Let them see you, and let us be your family again.”</p><p>            Soobin had to physically stop himself from letting out a sob at Kai’s words, the emotions he was feeling were that strong. And Kai was looking at him so tenderly and desperately that Soobin felt himself nodding before he had even decided he would stay. Kai nodded, pulling Soobin into another hug before looping his arm around Soobin’s arm and pulling him out of the lounge.</p><p>            Soobin walked with him, the nerves growing at the fact that he was about to be face-to-face with his ex-best friends and his ex-boyfriend. Kai only held him tighter, and Soobin appreciated it. He took steadying breaths, blinking back more tears. He was fine, these people weren’t his enemies. Kai was right, they were his family. And even though they hadn’t seen each other in three years, their bond remained. Soobin felt bad for doubting it had ever fully broken, but it was just human nature, he supposed.</p><p>            When they took the elevator up to the dorms, Kai started talking, most likely to help calm Soobin down. “I can’t wait to see their faces, I bet Taehyun-hyung will cry,” he joked, laughing to himself. Soobin could only smile, and then they were off the elevator and walking towards the dorms. Soobin tensed even more, but didn’t resist as Kai pushed open the door.</p><p>            And Soobin was suddenly surrounded by Yeonjun’s scent. His cologne clung to the air so potently that it was all Soobin could smell. He wasn’t sure if it was actually that strong or if his brain was just latching onto the association. The dorms looked pretty similar too, if not a bit cleaner than when he had lived in them. Kai guided them in, smiling at Soobin, and then lifting his chin. “Hyungs!” he cried out. Fuck, Soobin couldn’t do this. “Look who I found!” Soobin’s head snapped to where the rooms were, and he heard movement. There were a few groans and was that Beomgyu telling Kai to fuck off? Since when did he curse so openly?</p><p>            Kai rolled his eyes, giving Soobin an apologetic glance before speaking again, louder this time. “Just come here, please!” he yelled. Soobin heard more shuffling, and then a bright head of blonde hair entered the room and Taehyun froze just like Kai did when he saw Soobin. Soobin blinked awkwardly for a few seconds, and in those few seconds, Beomgyu appeared, taller than Soobin remembered and just as shocked as Taehyun.</p><p>            “What the fuck?” Beomgyu said, before both boys were running at Soobin and tackling him in a hug just like Kai had. Soobin felt a burst of relief and happiness again, and he laughed as he did his best to hug both of them back. “Holy shit, what the hell are you doing here? Why didn’t you warn us?” Beomgyu asked directly in his ear, while Taehyun only cried quietly against his shoulder. Beomgyu backed up first, but Taehyun clung to him tightly, and Soobin hugged him back comfortingly. “It’s kind of a long story,” he answered, and Beomgyu only nodded, before smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. “I fucking missed you, hyung,” he said. Soobin giggled, returning the statement, before hugging Taehyun more. The younger pulled away a bit then, wiping his face and looking up at Soobin. “Sorry for crying all over you,” he apologised.</p><p>            Soobin chuckled and shook his head as he released Taehyun. “It’s okay, Taehyunnie,” he whispered. At the nickname, Taehyun smiled tearfully, before Soobin saw movement in his peripheral vision. His heart sped up as he looked over and saw Yeonjun. He almost didn’t look real standing there, hair shoved under a beanie and face clear of any makeup. He looked so beautiful it hurt and his expression was so devastated it made Soobin’s heart ache.</p><p>            The room fell into an awkward silence, the two ex-soulmates staring at each other as if the others weren’t even there. It didn’t last long though, because Yeonjun waited a beat before running up to Soobin so fast that Soobin literally had to catch him in his arms. The older scrambled to wrap his arms around Soobin’s neck, moving them back a few paces in his clumsiness. Their legs knocked together, but Soobin was able to lock his arms around Yeonjun’s waist and as soon as he did he was home again.</p><p>            He subconsciously registered the others leaving the common room to give Soobin and Yeonjun some privacy, but he could really on focus on the body pressed against his. It was different yet so, so familiar, and Soobin only tightened his arms. Yeonjun smelled the same, he felt the same, he held Soobin the same. Soobin’s eyes closed as he let himself drown in Yeonjun, let himself miss him, let himself fantasise about getting this back. Because with Yeonjun in his arms, all of the obstacles and barriers between them melted away and it didn’t matter how different their lives looked now. They were still meant to be together. Soobin was still in love with him, he had never fallen out of love. Maybe Yeonjun hadn’t either.</p><p>            “Soobinie,” the older breathed, voice like heaven in Soobin’s ear. Soobin sniffled, holding Yeonjun closer and burying his nose in his hair. “Hyung,” he replied. He felt Yeonjun slide his fingers into Soobin’s hair, and Soobin exhaled. “Are you okay? What are you doing here?” the older asked. Soobin opened his eyes, not wanting to let go but knowing he probably should. He released Yeonjun, leaning back to look at the boy properly. He wasn’t crying, but Soobin could see the slight wetness in his eyes. He steeled himself, hands itching to cup Yeonjun’s face, but he couldn’t do that anymore. “It’s for work, kind of,” he said.</p><p>            Yeonjun only nodded, still looking at Soobin with a piercing gaze as if afraid he would vanish into thin air if he blinked. Soobin swallowed, his thoughts jumbled and his heart racing. Yeonjun appeared to be in the same boat, before he moved closer. “I miss you,” he whispered. “I haven’t gone a day without thinking about you since you left, and I know we agreed no communication, but I almost called you so many times, Soobin,” he rambled. Soobin grabbed his hands as he saw the older growing more distressed. “I know it’s so selfish of me to tell you all of this when you’re only here for work, but I can’t believe you’re here right now, and I would hate myself I didn’t tell you when I have the chance to, and-,” Soobin rubbed the boy’s knuckles, listening to everything he needed to say.</p><p>            And with each syllable, Soobin’s heart sped up and his resolves were crumbling, and he was staring at the love of his life who still loved him and what was the point anymore? Who cared about the obstacles or the challenges? Soobin and Yeonjun had successfully dated as trainees, why couldn’t they now? It might even be easier, with only one person in the limelight. But Yeonjun was crying now, and Soobin’s eyes widened and he let go of his internal monologue to re-focus on what Yeonjun was saying.</p><p>            “Maybe we c-can exchange numbers and text? I don’t want to overstep, and it’s okay if you d-don’t want that but-,” he started to say, but this time Soobin really did cut him off. “Hyung,” he said, pulling the boy closer by his hands. Yeonjun shut up, sniffling and looking at Soobin, discouraged. Soobin stared back at him, at his beautiful chocolate eyes, and touched his cheek. “I got an apartment, here in Seoul,” he whispered. Yeonjun’s eyes widened and he moved even closer, their chests pressing together. He had to lift his chin just a bit to look at Soobin, but not as much as he used to have to. Soobin swallowed. “I miss you too, and…I need you,” he confessed, letting himself be vulnerable.</p><p>            Yeonjun’s hands slid up between Soobin’s arms to cup his cheeks gently. Soobin teared up, leaning into the touch. “Eomma p-passed away, and I moved here, and I n-need my family,” he said, breaking down. He heard Yeonjun inhale, before he was being wrapped up in his arms again. Soobin’s head automatically leant on Yeonjun’s shoulder as he cried, and Yeonjun soothed him, rubbing his back and cuddling him.</p><p>            His resolve must have been pretty weak to begin with, if Soobin was being honest with himself, because it took ten minutes and Yeonjun in his arms for him to change his mind about everything. His friends wanted to be in his life, and he wanted them in his life, and that’s all there was to it. The same went for Yeonjun. It was like everything had changed except the way they felt about each other. And if they could still feel this strongly after no contact for two years, that had to mean something.</p><p>            “You have us, sweetheart, you have us,” Yeonjun whispered into his ear. Soobin sniffled and nodded, holding Yeonjun tighter. The older hesitated, before leaning Soobin back just enough to lock gazes. “And you never lost me,” he breathed. Soobin’s heart left his body then, and he searched Yeonjun’s eyes for only a moment before he bent forward and kissed him. Yeonjun kissed back immediately, and it was all muscle-memory. Soobin didn’t have to think as he kissed Yeonjun, all he had to do was melt into the euphoria, into the relief, into the safety of Yeonjun’s embrace.</p><p>            They had a lot to talk about, so much to catch up on, but Soobin was ready for it. He had his support system, and while he still hadn’t dealt with his mom’s passing or really anything that had happened the past three years, he knew he would be okay. As Yeonjun kissed him and whispered ‘I love you’s’ against his lips, he didn’t just know he’d be okay. He believed in it, too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Turns out, reuniting with your ex-boyfriend-turned-idol was a lot harder than one would think. It was easy back when Soobin was a trainee, because he lived in the same space and was doing the same things and now it just wasn’t that way. Soobin had his own apartment several blocks from the BigHit building, he had his own work that sent him all over the city and outlying districts, and Yeonjun was so busy with his comeback it was virtually impossible for them to see each other.</p><p>All the pull Soobin thought he would have had being a former trainee turned out to be non-existent, so there was literally nothing Soobin could do except wait for Yeonjun to let him know when he’d be able to see him. They texted constantly, which was so fucking strange and not strange at the same time to Soobin. It truly was like nothing had changed, like the years between them didn’t matter, like they had just pressed pause on their relationship and now they had pressed play again. They were older, more experienced, and more capable of navigating a situation as tricky as the one they found themselves in.</p><p>Kai had even revived the old groupchat and Soobin kept in contact with the others, too. They had their comeback stages coming up, and Beomgyu had actually managed to get Soobin a ticket to attend. He had tried to get Soobin a pass backstage, but BigHit had refused, saying Soobin had no reason to be backstage. It stung, of course, but Soobin knew what he was giving up when he gave it up. He had mourned the loss of becoming an idol right after he left, and he would never for a second regret going to spend time with his mom during her final years. It would be a bit difficult to see his best friends living out the dream he had to put on a shelf, but he was mostly excited for them. He was excited to see them perform under all the fancy lights and in fancy clothes.</p><p>The night of the showcase he dressed in one of his suits, clipping his cuff links on securely and double-checking his hair in the mirror. He had a light dusting of foundation and some eyeshadow so he didn’t look washed out, and he made sure his ticket was in his wallet before he left. He got into the waiting car (he was not about to go on a train at seven in the evening wearing <em>Versace</em> thank you very much) and pulled out his phone. He smiled as he saw the numerous notifications in the group chat, mostly Kai screaming about how excited he was for Soobin to see everything. There was also a text from a client of his that he ignored because he wasn’t working at the moment, and then there was a message from Yeonjun.</p><p>Soobin smiled as he opened it, before typing out a quick reply. Yeonjun had told him he would be looking for him in the crowd, and Soobin told him he wouldn’t be hard to miss. Yeonjun sent back a series of heart emojis, and Soobin giggled before locking his phone. He gazed out of the window as they drove, the city lights flashing past. Soobin took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment and letting himself wonder what the boys were doing at that exact moment.</p><p>The stylist noonas were probably perfecting every minute detail about their appearance, the sound engineers checking that the mics were on correctly, and the managers rushing around making sure everyone was else was doing their jobs. He hoped none of the members were too nervous. He had listened to their first two albums, and he cried over some of the songs. They were so fucking good and exactly the kind of music they used to dream of making together. He had sent his entire review into the groupchat, which made Taehyun cry apparently, and Yeonjun had called him instantly, telling him how much he loved him and how they would never truly be a complete group without him.</p><p>He shook off those notions, reassuring Yeonjun that they were perfect without him and didn’t need him to be complete. The conversation devolved into more catch-up then, and Soobin didn’t hang up until well past midnight. Hearing Yeonjun’s voice made him ridiculously happy, and their reunion had given Soobin the relief to be able to fully focus on adjusting to Seoul and starting the grieving process for his mom. He had skipped denial since he was in the room when she passed, but he was definitely angry at how she had gotten sick and how she had died. He had considered therapy and had an appointment with a therapist next week. He was doing alright.</p><p>The car stopped in front of the performance venue, and Soobin blushed a little as he saw the types of people attending. They were mostly teenage girls dressed in either bright colours or all black and wow Soobin was going to be <em>so </em>easy for Yeonjun to find. He bowed to his driver, before getting out and buttoning his blazer. He checked his ticket, and was relieved and partially surprised to see that he had box seats, away from the screaming girls and tired parents. He made a mental reminder to thank Beomgyu for looking out for him.</p><p>He skipped the line as he flashed his ticket and ID, and if he noticed some girls whispering and pointing at him he pretended he didn’t. While it was highly unlikely any of them really knew who he was, he didn’t doubt that at least a handful had done their research and new that about the mysterious fifth member of TXT that ended up having to quit before debut. He seriously had to thank Beomgyu.</p><p>An usher guided him up the stairs and Soobin’s eyes widened as he saw the set on the stage. It was beautiful, and he could see each member’s personalities and creative styles in it. As he took his seat, he wished he could take a photo but he didn’t think it would be allowed. Instead, he took a few deep breaths and sent the groupchat a text letting him know he had arrived and was in his seat. He didn’t expect a reply though, so he put his phone away and waited as the fans were let in.</p><p>An hour later, the lights dimmed, and the sound of screams filled the air. It made Soobin’s heart speed up as the adrenaline coursed through him, and he sat up straighter, leaning forward to get the best view possible. He felt like a kid on Christmas morning, excited and unknowing of what was to come. He may not have been screaming, but he was just as excited as those girls down on the floor, if not even more.</p><p>And when the opening notes reached his ears, and the lights lit up and shone down on his best friends, he jumped up and started cheering with everyone else.</p><p> </p><p>The set was incredible. The songs were powerful and emotional. The dances were so fucking impressive Soobin couldn’t help but gape as he watched. Their footwork and synchronicity was unmatched and Soobin understood why they had been so successful from the get-go. They worked together seamlessly, feeding off of each other’s energy and just letting themselves have fun. The sheer joy on their faces made Soobin’s heart flutter happily, as if he was on that stage too and could feel the energy being directed towards him.</p><p>Yeonjun never did find him in the crowd though. He kept looking out instead of up, as if he didn’t realise Soobin wasn’t in the crowd but was up in the boxes with some very prestigious people who kind of scared him but at least didn’t judge when he cheered loudly. Soobin wasn’t ridiculous enough to try and get Yeonjun’s attention either, but it was okay. He would text him after and let him know where he had been and that he was so proud of him. It would be hard to go back to his quiet apartment after such an entertaining night but it was what it was. He was just grateful he got to see his best friends—his family—doing what they love.</p><p>After they all bowed and waved goodbye, Soobin saw Yeonjun’s eyes flash over the room again, before his face fell just the slightest bit as he turned around. Soobin quickly fished out his phone and sent him a text, not wanting him to spend a second thinking Soobin hadn’t shown up. He got up then, smoothing out his suit jacket and following the crowd outside. He started ordering a cab when someone patted his shoulder. He turned around, seeing a short woman wearing all black staring up at him. She had a lanyard with the venue’s logo on it, and a clipboard in her hands. “Pardon me, sir,” she said. “Are you Choi Soobin?”</p><p>Soobin’s eyes popped and he nodded, wondering what was going on. The woman nodded, scribbling something down on the clipboard and then grabbing a walkie-talkie Soobin hadn’t noticed before. “Boss?” she spoke. “I have him, is he clear to go back?” Soobin blushed, heart picking up as he realised what was going on. He looked around him awkwardly, and lo and behold, some fans were watching him with curious and excited eyes. He made sure not to look at any of them directly, and soon enough he was being led back inside the building. He followed clumsily, trying not to trip over anything. The venue staff was busy cleaning up and Soobin bowed politely as he passed.</p><p>“So, are you like related to one of them or something?” the woman asked, a bit snarky if you asked Soobin. The boy fish-mouthed for a second, wondering what exactly he should say. He didn’t really want to answer, but he also didn’t want to be rude. “I’m an old friend,” he decided on. It was the truth, but a vague version. The woman seemed satisfied though, humming as she rounded a few corners. They passed the stage itself, and walked through a few doors before they stopped in front of a white one. The woman spoke into the walkie-talkie once more and then pushed open the door.</p><p>The smell of hairspray, sweat, and perfume mixed together into a very sharp fragrance that filled Soobin’s nostrils almost immediately. He didn’t care though, because when the door opened, he saw all of the members in various states of undress (nothing scandalous) with the stylists fluttering around them and making sure they didn’t tear any of the clothing. Three heads (Taehyun must have been changing into his day clothes) swivelled when he walked in, and suddenly there was a lot of shouting and Soobin laughed, closing the door behind him and walking further in. “Soobin-hyung!” Kai exclaimed, unable to move because his mic pack was being taken off, but flailing his arms anyway.</p><p>Soobin giggled, going and patting Kai’s shoulder. “You did amazing, Hyuka, I’m so proud of you,” he praised. Kai smiled hard, squealing as he hugged Soobin, not caring about his stylist having to follow the movement. “Yah, don’t get Soobin’s suit all sweaty, Huening!” Beomgyu scolded, swatting the boy off of Soobin. Kai pouted and Soobin ruffled his hair, before giving Beomgyu a high-five, complimenting him as well. The boy blushed, before going back to his stylist.</p><p>Soobin looked at Yeonjun then, who was simply smiling warmly at him as his stylist slid his top off of his shoulders, leaving him in just his white undershirt. It was nothing new to Soobin, but seeing Yeonjun’s exposed (and more muscular) shoulders still made his mouth water just a little. “I didn’t see you,” the older said, arching a brow. Soobin smiled, moving closer. “I was up in the boxes, ‘Gyu saved me from your very loving fans,” he explained. Yeonjun ‘ahhed’, a teasing lilt to his smile as he rested went to touch Soobin’s lapel. Before he could though, Taehyun appeared and gasped, going straight up to Soobin. “Hyung! You made it, I’m so glad!” he said, and Soobin turned to hug him. “You did so well, Taehyunnie,” he said, a bit muffled.</p><p>Taehyun smiled, glancing at Yeonjun before he went over to Beomgyu. Soobin blushed a bit as Yeonjun chuckled, their eyes meeting again. Yeonjun’s stylist finally left him alone and Yeonjun bit his lip, attempting to speak before someone swept into the room, looking very authoritative and talking as if they were the one in charge. Soobin concluded it must be their manager and he gulped, stepping out of the way. Yeonjun’s expression shifted to something slightly pained as he turned away from Soobin to listen to his manager’s instructions.</p><p>Soobin checked the time as the manager told the boys to finish getting changed and be ready to head back to BigHit in fifteen minutes. It was half past ten and Soobin figured it was probably time for him to leave too. The manager didn’t spare him a glance before she left and then there was a lot of movement as everyone hurried to finish up. Kai grabbed his clothes and dove into one of the changing rooms while Taehyun started getting all of their stuff together. Beomgyu was still getting out of his more complex outfit, and Yeonjun’s clothes were tossed into his hands and he turned to go change, locking eyes with Soobin.</p><p>The taller gave the older a soft smile, moving out of the way as the stylists bustled around him. He was starting to feel like he was in the way too much, and as soon as Yeonjun disappeared into the changing room after Kai, Soobin stepped out into the hallway to wait to say goodbye. Only a few minutes later he heard Yeonjun asking where he was, which made Soobin blush a bit, and then Yeonjun stumbled out into the hallway. “I thought you left,” he said, pushing his hair out of his face. Soobin smiled gently as he shook his head. “Just wanted to get out of the way,” he replied. Yeonjun’s face fell a bit, before he grabbed Soobin’s hand. “I have a few minutes before we have to go, do you want to go stand on the stage?” he asked, eyes bright.</p><p>Soobin’s throat tightened, the dreams he had of performing on a real stage one day rushing into his head. He knew Yeonjun remembered those late-night conversations and it made his heart twist to know that Yeonjun still cared so much. So he nodded, and Yeonjun smiled, pulling him down the hallway. He followed, feeling a mixture of emotions as they went. He was most excited to get to see what Yeonjun and the others saw, but he was also feeling the prickle of missed opportunity. Not regret, but something very similar. He wasn’t sure if it had a name. It made his stomach clench and his throat to tighten even more, but he ignored those feelings as best he could.</p><p>They arrived at the steps to the stage quickly and Yeonjun bounded up, turning to catch Soobin’s reaction. Soobin looked at him as they walked to the centre of the stage and then he looked out. Even though the room was empty it was breath-taking. He felt so…powerful. As he looked out, he imagined the crowd cheering for <em>him</em>, he imagined dancing with the others and sharing the spotlight with them. It made his body run a bit warmer as he looked up and around at everything.</p><p>He could feel Yeonjun’s eyes on him and so he tried to focus on the positive emotions he was feeling. But as they stood there and Soobin imagined what his life could have been for what felt like the trillionth time, he lost control. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and Yeonjun noticed immediately. “Baby,” he said, worried. Soobin didn’t even react at the term of endearment, quickly wiping his eyes. “It’s so c-cool, hyung, thank you for showing me,” he murmured, trying to pull himself together.</p><p>Yeonjun moved in front of him, trying to look at him. “Soobin, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he pleaded. It only made more tears well up and Soobin exhaled, covering his eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m reacting this way,” he stammered. Yeonjun shook his head, bending down a little as he tried to calm Soobin down. The younger took a few shaky breaths, lifting his head to the ceiling as he blinked rapidly. Yeonjun’s hands slid from his cheeks to his shoulders and Soobin’s own hands were clenched into fists. Yeonjun stood with him as he closed his eyes and focused on slowing his breathing and Soobin appreciated him so much in that moment.</p><p>“It’s just hard,” he started to say. “It’s hard to see what I was supposed to h-have too,” He chose to be honest about his feelings, which was something that wasn’t easy for him. But he didn’t want to sugarcoat it, because he wasn’t sure if he could experience this pain each time he went to support the boys. He wanted to be able to find a way to accept what had happened and where he was. The therapist was going to help, but he needed a support system too. And he couldn’t have a proper support system if he lied about his emotions.</p><p>Yeonjun nodded in understanding, lifting a hand to stroke Soobin’s earlobe. Soobin melted into the touch, body relaxing automatically just out of old habit. He sniffled a few more times, wiping his eyes and finally looking at Yeonjun. The boy’s brow was creased and he still looked worried, but he also looked like he did truly understand. “You deserve to be up here, too, you know that right?” he replied. Soobin stared at him, not really believing his words. So he just shrugged, ducking his head again.</p><p>“Is everything okay?” Beomgyu’s voice suddenly rang out. Soobin flinched, moving closer to Yeonjun without thinking about it. The two turned their heads to see not just Beomgyu, but Taehyun and Kai too, all climbing the stairs and joining them in the centre of the stage. “He’s okay,” Yeonjun answered for him, dropping his hand to rest his arm around Soobin’s shoulders. The younger boys looked at Soobin in concern, and Kai went straight up and hugged Soobin’s other side, rubbing his belly several times. “It’s alright, hyung, there’s nothing wrong with crying,” he comforted. Soobin smiled weakly, resting his cheek on the top of Kai’s head for a moment in acknowledgement.</p><p>Taehyun clasped his hands together as he stood in part of the semi-circle around Soobin. He looked around at everyone, before settling his eyes on Soobin. “This fucking sucks,” he said, which made everyone burst into a few spells of awkward laughter. Beomgyu slung his arms around Kai and Taehyun, and all five of them stood together, staring at each other’s feet. The laughter died away and the only sound was Soobin’s soft sniffling, as the tears hadn’t stopped yet. Beomgyu sighed loudly, causing Soobin to lift his head and it only made him sadder when he saw the light sheen of tears in his dongsaeng’s eyes.  “This is how it was supposed to be,” he said, voice breaking.</p><p>The statement made Soobin tear up even more—he didn’t know how it was possible—and Kai rubbed his belly even more. Taehyun himself started crying too, turning into Beomgyu’s side to hide his face. Soobin looked at Yeonjun, who forced a teary smile. Soobin pulled him closer to his side and spoke to all of them. “We can’t change what h-happened,” he said. Taehyun turned to look at Soobin, shoulders shaking a bit. Soobin pushed back his tears, shaking his hair out and blinking a few times. “I’ll be okay, and you’ll be okay, and we will be okay,” he promised. He kissed Yeonjun’s forehead, before hugging Kai tightly. The maknae whimpered a bit, latching onto Soobin and holding tightly.</p><p>It broke Soobin’s heart, but he understood. It wasn’t easy for any of them. He did his best not to hate himself for being the cause of their pain. As he hugged Kai, he felt Yeonjun’s arm wrap around his back, and then Beomgyu and Taehyun were hugging and they were all hugging. Soobin smiled a bit, feeling the love running between all of them, and the fact that it had survived after so long meant something to Soobin.</p><p>They hugged until the staff came to collect the others. Taehyun had to gently coax Kai off of Soobin, the youngest member not wanting to let Soobin go. Soobin chuckled wetly, ruffling Kai’s hair and promising to FaceTime him tomorrow. The boy only nodded glumly, and then let himself be led off by Taehyun and Beomgyu. Yeonjun and Soobin got off of the stage, and Soobin had to leave the front way while Yeonjun had to leave the back way.</p><p>The two stopped, staring at each other, the crossroads way too familiar for both of them. Soobin swallowed, tears still drying on his cheeks, and he didn’t want to leave this way. He didn’t want to leave at all. But this was how it was, just like he had said. Yeonjun’s manager tugged on his arm, and Yeonjun shot Soobin an apologetic glance, before following his manager. Soobin stood there for a second longer, smiling feebly as the older looked back at him, expression pained now. Soobin exhaled, before walking out the front and ordering an Uber home.</p><p> </p><p>He wished all of the boys a good night in the groupchat, before closing his eyes for the ride. Going through emotional breakdowns were quite exhausting. When Soobin got home, he carefully took off and hung up his suit, yawning. He took a quick shower, dressed in his softest pajamas, and then grabbed his phone. He had several messages from the boys, wishing him a good night too and thanking him so much for coming and promising to find a time for them to all get dinner sometime. Soobin didn’t know how that would be possible, but he responded enthusiastically regardless.</p><p>Yeonjun, strangely, didn’t speak in the groupchat or in his private conversation with Soobin. The art connoisseur furrowed his brow, but didn’t question it too much. Yeonjun wasn’t required to reply. Soobin made himself a pot of tea to help him sleep and as it was brewing he went over some client files, figuring out how to schedule his next week of work. As he was organising, his buzzer went off.</p><p>His head snapped up. The only people who rang his apartment were food delivery services, and he hadn’t ordered any food. His eyes widened as he realised who it could possibly be. He abandoned his files and got up, the nerves causing his palms to sweat as he let the person up. He stood at his door the entire time, heart racing. He wiped his hands on his pajama pants twice before there was finally a tentative knock on the door.</p><p>Soobin took a deep breath, waiting a few more seconds so it wasn’t weird, and then he unlocked the door. When it opened up, his suspicions were confirmed, and Yeonjun stood in his doorway. He was dressed in casual clothes, a scarf wrapped around his neck, beanie on his head, and mask covering half his face. He still looked so beautiful, even all covered up like he was. He pulled his mask down when the two made eye contact, and Soobin could see him swallow. “I have to leave before sunrise,” he said. That was all he said, but so much was implied that it made Soobin’s heart fly out of his chest.</p><p>He nodded, stepping aside and letting Yeonjun walk in. He closed and locked his door as he crossed the threshold, and then turned, watching the older as he took off his shoes and unwrapped his scarf. “How did you convince them to let you leave?” he asked, a warm feeling running through him when he saw Yeonjun hang his jacket on the little hook like he belonged there. Which, of course, he did. The older started walking around Soobin’s apartment, looking at everything. “I didn’t,” he answered. “Taehyun did.” Soobin smiled a bit. It made sense. Yeonjun never was a good negotiator.</p><p>He went to his countertop, gathering his files and stacking them up neatly. Yeonjun perused his vinyl collection, before looking over his shoulder at Soobin. “Shit, I’m sorry, were you working? I should have called,” he apologised, walking over. Soobin shook his head, smiling assuredly. “It’s nothing that can’t wait,” he replied, getting off the barstool and guiding Yeonjun to his room. They walked in, and while Soobin went to go take out his contacts, Yeonjun sat down on his bed. Soobin tried not to overthink things as he threw his used lenses away and returned.</p><p>Yeonjun smiled up at him as he approached, and Soobin sat down next to him. The boy spun to face Soobin, hands resting on his thigh. His pink hair almost glowed in the soft lamplight, and he was so pretty it hurt. And he was here, in Soobin’s bedroom, and didn’t have to leave for hours. They were completely alone. They hadn’t even gotten anything like this back when they were horny teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Interesting how quickly those urges returned now.</p><p>“Come here,” Soobin said, moving back to stretch his legs out. Yeonjun blushed a bit, before swinging his own leg over Soobin’s, settling easily over his thighs. Soobin’s hands found Yeonjun’s waist, while Yeonjun rested his hands on either of Soobin’s shoulders. “I’m sorry for upsetting you,” he murmured. Soobin’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “You didn’t upset me, hyung,” he replied quickly. “It was a pretty natural reaction, I’d think.” Yeonjun stared at him, not looking that convinced, but nodding anyway.</p><p>He leaned forward then, kissing Soobin’s forehead. “I’ve missed you so fucking much, Binnie,” he whispered. Soobin’s eyes fell shut for a moment as he pulled Yeonjun closer. The older kept speaking, cradling Soobin’s head in his gentle hands as he spoke. His cheek rested on the top of the younger’s head, and Soobin could feel his jaw moving. “I know I’ve said it a lot over the phone, but I need to say it in person,” he grew quieter, sweeter. “I love you so much, and I haven’t felt fully myself since you’ve left.”</p><p>Soobin inhaled, hugging Yeonjun and kissing his neck softly. “I love you too, hyung,” he replied, running his hands up and down Yeonjun’s back. The boy’s breathing had picked up, and he wanted to help relax him. “There’s nobody else, I’ve looked.” He pulled his head out of Yeonjun’s cradle as he looked up at the idol, who stared right back at him. His eyes held galaxies, so beautiful Soobin wanted to drown in them. “I looked too,” Yeonjun breathed. “Nobody came close.” And then they were kissing.</p><p>It was sweet and sensual and perfect, like every single kiss he shared with Yeonjun. They moved in tandem, like a river flows down a mountain, and Soobin started to lose himself in it. Yeonjun held him like he was breakable, so gently and carefully. Their lips moved slowly, the wet slide making Soobin’s heart thud against his chest. They kissed languidly for a moment, Yeonjun becoming more and more pliant in Soobin’s hold, until Soobin rotated them, letting Yeonjun settle on the mattress beneath him.</p><p>“Soobin-ah,” he mumbled against Soobin’s lips. Soobin hummed, moving away to look at him. His face was flushed, hair slightly messed under his beanie, and his lips were red and swollen. He swallowed once, throat bobbing, before touching Soobin’s bangs. “I want you,” he whispered. Soobin blushed, hard, his body already responding to his words. There wasn’t even a moment of contemplation as he nodded, leaning down to connect their lips again.</p><p> </p><p>An hour or so later, Soobin poured two mugs of tea and walked in, handing one to Yeonjun. The boy was propped up against the pillows, sweat cooling on his skin as he scrolled through his phone, blowing on his tea. “You should try and get a few hours of sleep, hyung,” Soobin suggested, getting under the covers and sipping his own tea. Yeonjun smiled over his mug, before carefully resting against Soobin. “I will,” he said. The two drank their tea, before Soobin set both of their mugs on the nightstand and turned out the lamp.</p><p>Yeonjun turned to cuddle against him like he used to, and it was telling that they still fit together so well, despite how their bodies had changed over time. In the darkness, Yeonjun’s hand rested on Soobin’s bare stomach, and his head laid next to Soobin’s. “I can’t lose you again,” Yeonjun murmured. Soobin’s arms wrapped around the smaller boy, and he turned so their noses brushed. “I’m right here, hyung,” he reassured, kissing him lightly. Yeonjun nodded, pressing closer and yawning.</p><p>Soobin smiled a bit, before closing his eyes and pulling the covers up. For the first time since he moved, he fell asleep easily.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://curiouscat.me/mapsoftheseouls"> Thoughts?</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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